Remember; its not the destination, its the journey.

Big Dismal

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 23:00:22 GMT

"Gave It All Away"

Second chances don't come around
What's done is done you should've thought of that
Before you lied down and changed your life in an instant
You're never gonna be the same you're gonna miss it

I know you wanted something real
Something that's forever
So tell me how does it feel
That it's gone

You gave it all away you didn't even think about it
Gave it all away now there's nothing left to give
I know the years go by but you can't forget
The look in his eyes, broken promises filled with regret
Now you've learned to be strong
You'll never get back now what you lost

I know you wanted something real
Something that's forever
So tell me how does it feel
That it's gone

You gave it all away you didn't even think about it
Gave it all away for the moment
You gave it all away now there's nothing left to say about it
You gave it all away now there's nothing left to give

So give it back what you've taken from me
'Cause I don't want to live with this insanity

You gave it all away you didn't even think about it
Gave it all away for the moment
You gave it all away now there's nothing left to say about it
Gave it all away now there's nothing left to give

woot

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:28:21 GMT

My car has been sent to the auto fixing place. muahahaha, soon soon.

words just words.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:36:03 GMT

I'm bored out of my mind right now, I really need to get a job. Eh. I also need more people to talk too, after a while talking to yourself doesn't cut it ;P. I did make a few friends in church though thats a plus. Sometimes I sit and wonder how the people I used to hangout with would react to how much I've changed in the last year, or however long it has been. As it stands right now, I being human, would never be able to fully get over not only what I've done to some but what some have done to me. But I guess thats part of the Christian walk, learning how to forgive and be forgiven yourself.

I wish I could just say, hey lets hangout or, I'm just gonna go up to the place of old and see whats going on, but I'm too much of a coward to do so. Or play vampire, as I'm not as quiet as I used too be. Primarily, the looks alone would frighten me. Secondly their judgments, just speculating at this point but I bet the first thought in most peoples mind would be "What the f is he doing here?" again thats the coward in me, and the one I listen to the most, fear is a very powerful emotion.

Its not like I started writing this to offend anyone, or anything like that. I had no idea what I was gonna talk about in the first place, so if your pissy about anything I've said, I apologize and understand it was not meant to be so.

Fear, as I read over this and get a revelation of something...Fear can hold us back, fear can stoop us to new lows, fear can kill, fear can save. My fear of judgment can be a two sided blade, good and bad. Being afraid of his or being afraid of theirs when compared would seem minuscule, the fear I have of his could never compare to theirs, they can think and speak their evil words, he can destroy my soul. I can do things that would appease their wrath and make me seem cool, while bringing his judgment down on me and have him burn my soul. Or I could bare their looks and judgments and appease his ways, keep my soul for eternity, and who knows get married. Lets see how that goes. :)

I could go on, but there are other times and places.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 17:00:31 GMT

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news
Proclaiming peace and salvation.

Interesting thought.

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 10:15:40 GMT

As always most of my thoughts I imagine wont be read. So this one is no different, specially being religious in nature... As I meditate the night away I think, you guessed it on godly related items. One line of thought came to mind. All throughout the bible there are types and shadows, as the bible "humpers" like to call it. An example, the sacrificing of a lamb for the cleansing of sin for the Israelites, they laid their hands on the animal to place the sin of them on it, then they bled the animal and sacrificed it. To expand on it, Jesus would be the lamb -took the sins- he would be bled -on the cross- and sacrificed -like the lamb-

With that thought in mind, as we have an example of a "shadow/type" I can continue. These shadows are throughout the bible, all pointing to, Jesus. -Ok got it, what of it?- So now that we know what a shadow is and what it points to we have to assume that god was in control of all that was going on from the beginning, of course this is easier when you have a base of belief.

All of those points to bring this logic. If god, who has controlled everything since the beginning; -he was the one who told the Israelites to lay the hands on the lamb- set the wrath that was going to fall on Jesus from the beginning.

The way that this all came about in my mind was this way. I assumed for a second or two, that Jesus who took the hit as I like to put it, was not there to take it. Then that wrath would've fallen on me. I assumed also that seeing the wrath which was set, and was coming, then I would not be here, since there are no more humans.

Well if you don't want to think about it that way. Imagine I was alive back then, I would've died if Jesus didn't take the wrath. All of this really only works if you know these few things, Jesus, The Father and the Holy Spirit after Adam, made a plan to reunite with humanity, they had to sacrifice, first animals through the bible until Jesus, the last sacrifice, keep in mind also that he had a free will, like you and I, so at any time he could've said "Why give my life for these men?"-love would be the answer- it kinda brings the whole point together, what if he didn't? Where would I be?

Through one man sin did come in, through one man was it taken out. Thank God he was there to take it for me. Makes a lot more sense in my little mind to give my life to em when he willingly gave his to save mine.

Simply, no Jesus, no me. With Jesus a lot of me. Putting all of this into words is quite difficult.

The Fray

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:07:55 GMT

How to save a life.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 08:08:12 GMT

When I feel down and out, when it feels like I have nothing else to turn too I turn to the good news I find in the music I now listen too. I hope it can be the same for those who also feel the same, give it a try, never know.

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:10:59 GMT

I recommend this to those who feel down. Good Song. Forgive the crowd

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 19:52:04 GMT

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 16:35:56 GMT

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Mon, 13 Nov 2006 20:27:13 GMT

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Fri, 10 Nov 2006 16:52:14 GMT

01. Open your iTunes [or Winamp, or RealPlayer, or MusicMatch, Windows Media Player OR any usually neglected Linux players including Rhythmbox, Quod Libet, AmaroK, or Noatun.
02. Sort by song title.
03. Share the first song you have for for each letter.

A - A Crow Left Of The Murder - Incubus
B - B.Y.O.B - System Of A Down
C - Call To Worship - MercyMe
D - Daisy - Switchfoot
E - Easier Than Love - Switchfoot
F - Fade To Black - Metallica
G - Gather At The River - Point Of Grace
H - Hallelujahs - Chris Rice
I - I Believe - Hillsong
J - Jambi - Tool
K - Karma Police - Radiohead
L - Last One Standing - MercyMe
M - Made For TV Movie - Incubus
N - Nails In Your Hands - MercyMe
O - Obstacle 1 - Interpol
P - Paint The Town Red - Delirious
Q - Question - System Of A Down
R - Reality - Big Dismal
S - Sad But True - Metallica
T - Take It All - Hillsong
U - Unbreakable - Alicia Keys
V - Vampire Heart - Him
W - Wait For Me - Rebecca St. James
X - Nothing starting with X
Y - Yellow - Coldplay
Z - Zee Deveel - Incubus

Switchfoot

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:53:48 GMT

"The Blues"

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who hasn't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Does justice never find you? Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in

Kinda last post

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:53:21 GMT

So what happened this weekend? Well I went to a wedding and the girl of my dreams was there, she was a bridesmaid, the most beautiful girl on this planet, and no one will ever compare to her beauty, it saddens me that I could not tell her these words to her face, but theres a time and a place for everything, even love has its time. And I know my time with her will either come because i will tell her how I will feel, or it wont by her denying me my heart, and if so then theres "plenty of other fish" out there.

Another thing happened there, I cried my eyes out to my former preacher, no idea why, but he knew what was wrong and what to say to fix it. Some issues that don't need to be said out loud or here period. This was at the wedding reception, with about 100 people or so, and I have no shame in it, why? because of that act, I feel like a completely new person, I quit smoking cigarettes and haven't smoked in 4 days, and never will I go back to them. Been smoking for years and by the grace of God I gave them up in one second. Believe me or not, its true, and a fool is what I would call you if you did not believe truth. Ive lost all the habits that were me, WEED, cigarettes, alcohol, evil friends and their evil deeds and found myself with friends who would stick with me through the good and the bad, and right now all ive been going through is bad situations, I wonder If i would have still been with the crowd I hung out with back then, which one of them would stick it through with me. None. Seeing as they are not with me now. Hehe Love.

I'll continue on my walk, If I were to stop, It would be, retarded...When going through hell, keep going. I hope someone can at least start walking out of hell and towards heaven. GOD BLESS.

Moving here.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:07:30 GMT

This is where ill be. I wont delete this place yet.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=51154364

Cant sleep.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 07:02:19 GMT

Sigh I havent posted any words in a while so let me just say a few things here. This last few weeks have been interesting. To me atleast, there are alot of things in my mind that I cant seem to be able to figure out, like my folks, every once in a while they remind me that they want to move out of Jacksonville, really I have no problem with this but if they left now I would have to go with them, this only really affects me since I would not be missed by any here, well maybe one or two.

The other thing is this girl I like, I swear I will never understand what girls want, well I know they want a guy with a job and a car and alot of money and other material things, which for now I cannot provide, yet I still dont think my lack of these material possesions justifies her complete and total ignorance of my existance. I mean "Hey im right here sitting in front of you, the least you can say is hi" no wonder the idea of giving up on women comes up to my mind so often, no im not turning gay, im just saying, I wanna give up on finding one.

See this is where the girl I like and I cant seem to meet up with each other, shes stuck on the now, and im looking in the future, for one I know I wont be poor for long, I know the promises that have been given to me, but she cant seem to get that. Or believe them for that matter, well not like ive told her, but its not like even if I did tell her she would care either way, shes still hung up on that other guy who treated her badly and tried to control her life.

Sigh its like a romantic anime, if you've ever seen some of them like Kare Kano or Fruit Baskets, the two lovers go through all this crap while they are aware of each others existance and it seems all the odds are agaisnt them and somehow the least likely "The hero" always wins...I find myself always loving these types of animes and the impossible to get girl, cuz they always relate to what im going through in one way or another, im the hero in this case, the least likely to win, but the victory is already there and will be much more incredible if I hold fast to what I believe is true... I guess maybe I'll find the most unlikely to be "my girl" and live a happy life...Its always around this time -1am to 2am- that my mind wants to ramble on and on - on stuff that really only ONE cares about...-You know what I mean by ONE-

I mean, look at all ive typed here. Will it ever touch someone? One can only hope. Will it ever make someone think just a little bit? Maybe. I am being very general in my discussion, done purposely aswell? "Yes". I'll just stay quiet for a few more days...Till we meet again.

Mercy me

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:36:00 GMT

"How Great Is Your Love"

My heart is steadfast of God
And I will sing
With all my heart and soul
Music for the King
And I will awake the dawn
With my praise to you O Lord

[CHORUS:]
How great is Your love
So much higher than the heavens
With faithfulness that reaches the sky
How great is Your love
So much higher than the heavens
With faithfulness that reaches the sky
O how great is Your love

Praise the Lord O my soul
And glory to the King
Forever You are robed with majesty
We come to you O Lord
And Lay our praise at your feet

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
Be exalted O God and let Your glory reign
Be exalted O God and let Your glory reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign
Let it reign

[CHORUS]

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:34:47 GMT

ugh im bored ill be on the chat services.

Love song to more, deeper song to some, special song to one.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 05:34:59 GMT

Scott Krippayne

Want to get to know You better
I want to understand what matters to You
I want to know what moves You deeply
I want to see the world the way You do

What breaks Your heart
What makes You cry
What would I see
If I looked through Your eyes
I want to grow closer and closer to You
'Til what breaks Your heart
Will break mine too

Don't want to be numb to injustice
Don't want to get used to the evil I see
Don't want to grow cold to those who wander
Or forget about those who don't believe

What breaks Your heart
What makes You cry
What would I see
If I looked through Your eyes
I want to grow closer and closer to You
'Til what breaks Your heart
Will break mine too

Sometimes You weep with us
In the things that we go through
I long for tenderness
So that I might weep with You (at)

What breaks Your heart
What makes You cry
What would I see
If I looked through Your eyes
I want to grow closer and closer to You
'Til what breaks Your heart
Will break mine too

Myspace

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 18:49:23 GMT

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=51154364

Honey

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 20:01:46 GMT

How to use it and where too get it. Well today has been rather annoying, had an argument with the old mother, to the point of being cursed outright by her, I think the lack of nicotine was the main ingridient for that chaos... Not very sweet =/

So that was after i went to the store to purchase some tabacco...I need to quit, it was ten times easier to quit pot than these stupid things -inhale- like a week and a half sober, go me.

Anyways on the way to the store it was rather bleak, the weather it was. As I walk out I look and said lord, I dont want to get rained on by this storm thats going by, and I start my walk to the store it seemingly seemed that the clouds themselves parted and the sun shined right on me as I walked out under the clouds a ray of sunshine broke through and lit my way, it reminded me of a few things that ive leanred these lasts few months...No matter what dark clouds are over your life, no matter how horrible it may seem today, when you ask for help from the lord, he will shine that ray of light at the end of the tunnel intensely bright just for you, in other words, he'll help you out. And another example, me. Been through hell, and was taken out. Been through an addiction, been taken out. Going through shit with some people, was given the strenght and courage to get over those evil people and find better friends. Been out of work and out of luck, now im not even worried about getting a job, knowing that I need one to survive in this wicked world, yet I know that even that aspect of my struggle can be fixed in no time. In other words yet, theres nothing that you may think that cannot be solved, that HE cannot solve. Trust me, I would be dead if what I am saying was not true. I hope that was sweet in some way. Love

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 22:07:42 GMT

Eh I felt like posting something today, dont know why however. It does go on closed ears the messages that I try to put foward, yet I fight on - on the hopes that maybe one day the ears of some would be opened. Eh I can ramble on for a while, but why bother really?

I do give up too easily, try to ask someone for forgiveness and they'll look you over and pass by you as if you've never meant anything to them, oh I knew you once, long ago, but things happened and you changed and we dont like what you've become now.

To this - this is what I will say, ignore and ignorance will become you. Overlook and overlooking is all you'll ever do. Hate and hatred is all you'll ever know...How can I say this, because, hatred is what I used to be, now i am love. I ignored, and became ignorance, now I am wisdom. I overlooked and was overlooked, now i am found and looked upon with grace and love and compassion, by he who matters most, so in closing, hah -i wanna curse right here but im not allowed- so have fun, those of you who ignore, and have fun with the "crappy" cards you have been dealt. For i have someone who stacks my deck in my favor. ;)

Im not going to be doing this much longer, I am going to be moving on. Greatest guitar player here i come. Thats my dream which i hold with a strong grip, and never will I let go of what I have dreamed.

No Excuses

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 23:17:27 GMT

Its alright
There comes a time
Got no patience to search
For peace of mind
Layin low
Want to take it slow
No more hiding or
Disguising truths Ive sold

Everyday its something
Hits me all so cold
Find me sittin by myself
No excuses, then I know

Its okay
Had a bad day
Hands are bruised from
Breaking rocks all day
Drained and blue
I bleed for you
You think its funny, well
Youre drowning in it too

Everyday its something
Hits me all so cold
Find me sittin by myself
No excuses, then I know

Yeah, its fine
Well walk down the line
Leave our rain, a cold
Trade for warm sunshine
You my friend
I will defend
And if we change, well i
Love you anyway

Everyday its something
Hits me all so cold
Find me sittin by myself
No excuses, then I know

Mercyme

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 08:03:16 GMT

"Here Am I"

On the other side of the world
She stands on the ocean shore
Gazing at the heavens she wonders
Is there something more
Never been told the name of Jesus
She turns and walks away
What a shame

Just across the street in your hometown
Leaving from his nine to five
Gazing down the road he wonders
Is this all there is to life
Never been told the name of Jesus
He continues on his way
What a shame

[Chorus:]
Whom shall I send
Who will go for me
To the ends of the earth
Who will rise up for the King
Here am I send me
Here am I send me

Whether foreign land or neighbors
Everyone's the same
Searching for the answers
That lie within your name
I want to proclaim the love of Jesus
In all I do and say
Unashamed

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news
Proclaiming peace and your salvation

Happy is a yuppie word

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 17:36:14 GMT

Ah!

Everyone dies
Everyone loves a fight
Nothing is sound
Nothing is right side right
Evening comes, when the sun goes down in red
Nothing is cool
When will all the fighting end
When will all the fighting end

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out (cash out)

Everything fails
Everything runs it's course
A time and a place, for all of this loving war
Everyone buys, everyone's gotta price, and nothing is new
When will all the failures rise
When will all the failures rise, rise!

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out

Happy is a yuppie word
Blessed is the man who's lost it all
Happy is a yuppie word (word)

Looking for an orphanage
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down
I don't believe the emptiness
I'm looking for the kingdom coming down
Everything is meaningless
I want more than simple cash can buy
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie,

Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound
Nothing is sound

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
Happy is a yuppie word (word)

So calm down, yeah!
So calm down, yeah!